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dirtz walks into a bar and sees his friend wiseguy slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks wiseguy what`s wrong.
"Well," replies wiseguyl, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies dirtz with a laugh.
"Well," says wiseguy, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That`s great!" says dirtz, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues wiseguy, "but I was worried I`d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn`t show."
"Sensible" says dirtz.
"So I get to her door," says wiseguy, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(wiseguy slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face." 
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